Alcoholism. A testimony about Carrie

            It’s so sad.

            While I was at the dentist in another town about a year ago, the hygienist began to tell me about her niece, a bright University graduate, who was acting strangely…as though she might have a drug or alcohol problem.

          . I was a safe “shoulder” for the hygienist because I did not know the girl or the parents, nor did I have any opportunity to meet them.

            It seems "Carrie"  had achieved high honors at her University, but the day of graduation, she stumbled and staggered down the hill into the stadium to receive her diploma.

            This was only one of many such events, but so far her parents were oblivious. They knew she had been drinking, but would not know the depth of the problem at this point. "Carrie" didn't live at home, after all. 

            Once Carrie was on her own, things didn't work out so well. 

            The young woman couldn't  keep a job. She lasted about a week. She often blamed the boss for his not liking her, or being unfair, or not making his needs clear to her. “It wasn’t my fault”, she said, as she retreated to her bed.

            Her sleeping habits were upside down. She slept during the day and stayed up late at night. “I am just not a day person,” she remarked. (a major red flag with the addict)

            She couldn’t make it on her own. She moved home. Her room was a mess, and she didn't follow through with normal, every day tasks.

            The problem definitely was alcohol.

            During subsequent dental visits, I and the hygienist would catch up with the situation. At this point, six months later, the parents felt that the girl had some disease…maybe diabetes? Otherwise why would she be so tired all the time, and why couldn’t she seem to handle very much of life’s demands?

            There were hospitalizations; trips to the E.R. The relatives began to see that there was a drinking problem, and "Carrie"  promised that she would stop. The family didn't yet realize that all the good intentions in the world would not facilitate her sobriety. The girl COULDN’T stop.

            Months passed. The hygienist was just about frantic. Her sister, the girl’s mother, was maybe catching on, but the situation was beginning to be so much worse. The girl would pass out and not show up for family events.

            Most of the time, an addict (alcoholic, street drugs, prescription drugs) is a refined, well-honed manipulator. Also, the addict is a liar.

            This is the hardest personality trait for a parent or a spouse to accept. 

            I do not know if the parents had an intervention with the girl. I know they loved her dearly.

            But eventually, "Carrie"  left the state, and moved in with a guy.

            I received a text several weeks ago from the hygienist asking for prayer. Carrie was in the hospital. She had binged. Again. Her kidneys were shutting down and her liver was a mess.

            We prayed for her. The girl sobered up enough in the hospital to realize that she wanted to live. The mother and father were able to visit with her rationally and pray with her…encourage her.

            A week later I received the news.

She died. Oh dear God, it was such bad news for us all.

Too late you say? Not really. Carrie was the one who needed to decide that she wanted to get sober. The parents could not make her do this. I am guessing that when she left the state to move in with the young man, that she had made her decision.

            She is gone. And I am sad.

            But I want to encourage you if you or someone you know has a problem…Don’t give up. Many do live. Many do lead sober, productive lives.

            Just not enough.