4 Things Drugs Addicts Are Not  by Lance Lang, Hope Alive Ministries

I will never forget the first time someone asked me, “What’s wrong with you?!” I had stolen some pills, okay, a lot of pills, from someone who had just had surgery. I didn’t even think about what I was doing at the time. All I was thinking about was getting high and not getting sick. It was a means to an end for me. Basically my thought process was…

• I know she has pills
• I know where she keeps them
• I think I can steal them
• I’m going to do it.

Sounds horrible now, but at the time it made a lot of sense. Well the family caught me stealing the pills and berated me for hours. They called me all kinds of names like weak, stupid and talked about how no one in their family had ever had problems with pills (they were all saints). It was a sucky day and one that I dealt with emotionally for years.

I think this little story sums up the mindset of most addicts and most loved ones of addicts. The addict rarely thinks about who will get hurt or the consequences yet only focuses on themselves. The loved ones on the other hand looks at us from the outside looking in and thinks what is wrong with them? Both parties seem to be blind to what’s really going on. We are all living in the forest, yet we can’t see a single tree.

Our collective vision of a drug addict needs to change. True help and hope for the individuals suffering and their families can only begin to take place when we begin to see the situation clearly. So today I’ve listed 4 traits about addicts that I believe will be eye-opening.

4 Things Drugs Addicts Are Not:

1. Weak

Drug addicts are not weak. We are not weak minded, weak emotionally or even weak physically.  It’s quite the opposite in fact. We are strong individuals, who are willing to endure great pain and sacrifice to get what we want. We are not weak mentally, we’re conniving, manipulative, crafty people who can artfully weave together the best of plots and schemes. We are not weak emotionally, rather we consistently use emotionally laden stories and situation’s to gain control over people.

2. Stupid

Drug addicts are not stupid people. We are some of the best and brightest men and women on this planet. Most of us were very talented in school before drugs made their way to dominate our lives. We typically excel in the arts and science and have naturally captivating interpersonal skills which come in very handy when dealing with drug dealers and the like. We aren’t stupid we just sometimes fail to fully engage our intelligence.

3. Honest

Drug addicts have a real tough time being honest. My dad commonly says that dishonesty is the number one trait of an addict. I would agree. We will lie about anything and everything. We’ll lie about our past, we’ll lie about our jobs, we’ll lie about our health, we’ll lie about the weather, we’ll lie about where we’ve been, we’ll lie about where we’re going. There are really no limits to our hypocrisy. We will lie about whatever, whenever, however if it serves our purpose.

4. Ourselves

Drug addicts, when in active addiction are most certainly not themselves. This is the true revelation that can change your entire perspective on addiction. Whether you are an addict or a loved one of an addict, when you begin to wrap your mind around this pivotal thought, things change.

For loved ones:

When we are drinking and drugging, we are not the children you raised. We are not the boy you taught how to ride a bike or the little girl you watched go to prom all pure and innocent. Something has changed us, something has come over us and we are not the same. As scary as this may come across this is actually good news. Because if you come to terms with the fact that your loved one is not their true self the you can begin treating them as such.

I’ll break it down a little differently. If your healthy, active and relatively well behaved sixteen year old son was immediately diagnosed with a life—threatening illness, what would you do? Well most likely you would begin seeking out doctors, going to see specialists, changing his diet, watching his activities closely, monitoring his sleep and all kinds of other things.  You would start treating him differently because something about him had changed and changed drastically.

This is the concept that most parents don’t grasp for years and years. It causes lots of pain and costs lots of money.

The question posed to me that day I stole the pills rang in my head for years. “What’s wrong with you?” Today, with the gift of time, I can look back and answer that question. I was sick, I will ill, I was not myself. Maybe this insight will help you in your situation.

If you’re family is struggling with an addiction issue I’d like to invite you to a family support group class hosted by Hope is Alive Ministries. It’s specifically for loved ones of addicts. Find out more and sign up here: www.FindingHope.Today

With Hope,

-Lance

10 Signs Your Kid Has A Problem

What makes an addict an “addict”? At what point do they cross the line? What does an unmanageable life look like? What percentage of their income do they need to start spending on their drug of choice before we call it a problem? Does it only become an addiction if they tip over into doing illegal things? What about smoking weed, is that okay because it’s legal in some states?

Is there just some way to know for sure when my loved one’s life has become unmanageable?

These are all great questions. But there’s no single answer to any of them. Every person’s situation is different; every addict’s story has its own plot twists and roster of characters. And because of this, I thought it might be easier if I just listed the top ten signs that you have a problem in your situation.

Now, you may see one or two of these, but that doesn’t necessarily mean your child, spouse, parent, or distant relative needs immediate intervention. You’ll have to use some of your own discretion to discern that or just call me and I’ll help you(405.996.8862). But these are good indicators that something is going on under the surface that needs attention.

Once we begin to see a problem come to light, it means it’s probably been festering in the dark for some time.

Think of a plant: long before you begin to see the fruit, you know there’s a lot going on underground: roots are forming and spreading, and more energy is pushing up out of the ground, from the dark to the light.

So let’s take a look at some common indicators that something awful has taken root in your love one’s life.

1) Dishonesty

Drug addicts have a tough time being honest. “Tough time” is playing nice, actually—drug addicts find honesty practically impossible.

My Dad commonly says that dishonesty is the number one trait of an addict, and I agree with him. We will lie about anything and everything. We’ll lie about our past, we’ll lie about our jobs, we’ll lie about our health, we’ll lie about where we’ve been, we’ll lie about where we’re going—we’ll lie about the weather if we think we can get away with it (or even if we don’t).

There are really no limits to our hypocrisy. We will lie about whatever, whenever, however if it serves our purpose.

But you probably already know this or you wouldn’t be reading this. Addicts are horrible manipulators, and we will let our dishonesty run rampant while we’re in active addiction.

It’s hard to really believe anything an addict says. So if you are early on in this journey and you are beginning to see dishonesty rear its ugly head, then be warned: it’s probably only going to get worse.

2) You Find Something

I’ve heard all kinds of stories on this topic. Parents and spouses finding bottles in the shower, weed under the mattress, pills swapped out and hidden in unsuspecting containers, and of course my old go to, hiding powders in my Carmex container.

Regardless of how creative your loved one can get, once you find something, it should be sign that problems are on the horizon. And furthermore when you find something on their person, in their car, in a pocket, stuffed in a drawer or anywhere else, it’s theirs. Don’t let them ever tell you otherwise.

We are the best finger pointers in the game, and it’s always easier to make our parents or loved ones believe that someone else is the problem and we just so happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Finding drugs, alcohol or paraphernalia of any type is a clear sign that you’ve got a problem.

3) MIA

Another telltale sign that something is up, is when your loved one goes MIA.

This seems to be fairly obvious, but you’d be surprised at the number of people who tell me, “Well, we haven’t seen him in a few weeks.”

“Have you called him!?” I ask. “Gone by his house, driven by his work?”

“No, we were just trying to give him space.”

C’mon, people! When you are in the stages of trying to decipher what is going on in the life of your loved one, not seeing them or hearing from them in weeks is a giant, blinking, warning light indicating that you need to do something. Especially when they start missing family functions or routine events that used to mean something to them (birthday celebrations, watching the football game on Saturdays, fishing with Dad, or any other activity that would seem out of character for them to miss out on).

Continued absence = problem.

4) Something doesn’t smell right

If they walk in your house reeking of weed, then you’ve probably got an issue.

If you don’t know what weed smells like, but they smell funny, then it’s probably weed. The same goes for cigarette smoke, which is often used to mask other drug smells.

Other drugs can bring smells as well. Making meth produces powerful odors that may smell like ammonia or ether. These odors have been compared to the smell of cat urine or rotten eggs.

5) Something doesn’t look right

Smell is just one sense that can tip you off that something needs to be addressed. Sight is another.

Even if you’re looking at the world through a pair of thick coke-bottle lenses, your eyes are great tools to utilize when trying to understand what is going on with your loved one. What do they look like? What does their physical appearance tell you?

Are their eyes bloodshot? That could be a sign of marijuana use.

Or you can determine other potential drugs by looking at the pupils. Some drugs, like alcohol and opioids, cause the pupils to constrict. Others, like amphetamine, cocaine, LSD, and mescaline cause them to dilate.

Police officers know this; some use it as one way of checking if someone is off their face. They generally look for pupils dilated either to less than 3mm or more than 6.5 mm.

6) Change in Influences

Looking back on my journey, I think one of my main early indicators could have been the change in my friend scene.

Toward the end of my time in high school, I practically swapped out friend groups in a matter of months. I went from the Normal Party Crew to the Excessive Party Crew. And on top of that, I practically moved in with this new group. I spent just about every waking moment with them, which meant I was getting high just about every waking moment.

This change in influences was a critical part of my path to drug addiction.

7) Isolation

Just as switching out friends was a great sign that I was changing inside, so was my sudden tendency towards isolation.

This doesn’t mean that plain old introverts are closet or potential addicts—some people just need to get away by themselves frequently—but as my addiction really began to settle in, I became more and more reclusive and isolated. I didn’t want anyone at my house and I just really didn’t want to be around people in general. I would make excuses to leave events early, or even better, simply never show up in the first place. If I did happen to get to work, I would shut and lock the door to my office, opening only for certain people.

The worse I got, the more isolated I became.

8) Money, Money, Money, Moooooney…..Money!

Yeah, this is a big one.

As drug use begins, or addiction sets in, the money requests skyrocket. And remember sign #1: addicts will lie, lie, lie to your face, and they will especially lie about why they need money.

Fundraising requests can come in a variety of dishonest ways; addicts will trade on their health, on their kids, on their kids’ health—I’ve done them all. I could go through hundreds of different types of specific scenarios, but I think you get the gist: when money requests begin to increase at the same time other suspect behavior increases, then something is probably not right.

9) Stealing

If we can’t get it by asking, we’ll get it by taking.

We will steal just about anything. It becomes a sick and twisted form of thinking that tells us: If it’s going to bring monetary value to me, then I have the right to take it.

 In the midst of my addiction, I started jacking everything. Money from wallets, Dad’s golf clubs, Mom’s earrings, Sister’s pill bottles, Grandma’s hair looms, girlfriends’ purses, our employers’ printers, food from the gas station, TVs from Wal-Mart… if it wasn’t bolted down, and I was left alone with it, it probably came with me so I could sell it or pawn it to get my next fix.

If your stuff goes suddenly missing, your loved one might be in trouble.

10) Emotional Swings

Drugs and alcohol have the unique ability to shut down our emotions, turning addicts into cold, callous, manipulative, self-serving monsters. And then, in the rare cases when we allow the buzz to wear off, we can become over-the-top, dramatic, tear-filled, remorseful, and almost kind.

Should you see us in one of these non-buzzed states, feel free to enjoy it, but don’t for a minute think we’re all better. In fact, it’s these types of swings that you as the loved one need to be looking out for.

If you’re loved one is shut-off part of the week, and then bawling like a baby over the weekend, you might have a problem on your hands. Especially, if one of more of the other factors is simultaneously at play.

While this is not an exhaustive list, it does cover the broader, more far-reaching signs that you need to be aware of. But while being aware of those signs is one thing, being willing to do something about them is something else entirely. To understand what to do next, how YOU can begin intervening or interacting with your loved when one of these signs becomes visible, click here to pick up my new book Finding Hope.

Hello, Welcome

    Many who experience addiction in the family or in relationships do not understand. And how would one understand? The addiction drives the addict, and the addict drives the family.
    Visualize your situation like this: the addict is dancing a dance of need and craving. He or she is out of control. The person that you knew is changed. He/she has no conscious understanding of the harm he is doing to others. The brain response is total selfishness. All that matters is feeding the habit.
     The family; the loved ones, the friends...unless they choose to totally walk away from the addict...they are doing a dance as well. They are marionettes and the strings are being manipulated and controlled by the addiction.
     The cycle begins. The actions of the addiction and the responses of the loved ones might change from month to month or day to day, but the outcome is the same. Nothing changes the addict.
     Soon the loved ones are suffering more than the addict. He/she doesn't respond to such accusations such as "You have hurt us? . Don't you want to change? How can we help you? " Anger doesn't do much either.
    But what does change the situation is n this blog. There are answers here.
    The addict needs help, but that won't happen until he/she reaches the point where he/she really wants help. The loved ones, the real victims, won't change until they understand what they are dealing with, and how to best proceed.
    I pray that this blog helps you. This is my greatest desire.
    Treatment for the addict is beneficial; the proper response of the loved ones is beneficial as well...But the real change has to be in the love one's response to this serious condition.
    God Bless you and May He give you divine strength as you walk through this experience.
    There is hope and there are answers. Don't give up.
     Sincerely, Judi (pawneeprairieannie)

For the one in need:

Say this prayer today. Release it all to God.
God, it’s clear to me as I look back on my past that I have not surrendered to your will, your timing or your plans for my life. For that I am sorry and seek your forgiveness. With joy in my heart, I say that Today is the day that I change this way of living. I am handing over all of my issues to you. Surrendering my addiction, the people that frustrate me, the circumstances I can’t control and the future that is uncertain. I am completely surrendering that your ways are better than mine. I choose to quit fighting, to give up and rest in the fact that you have a future and hope planed for me. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. But most of all God give me the strength to surrender my all to you every day. More of you, less of me. Amen!

(This prayer is taken from the Hope is Alive Small Group Curriculum) 

Welcome

                        It's been several months since we lost our son to addiction.

                        No, "addiction" wasn't the reason for his death. But, it was "addiction" that killed him. An example might be a person who has cancer, and after a valiant fight to live, he passes on from pneumonia or heart failure.

                        Our son died because he fell asleep (we think) at the wheel. And he fell asleep because he hadn't slept for days.And he hadn't slept for days because we think that he was "using"  In this case, it was a street drug, and not alcohol.

                        We don't understand everything about addiction. When I was growing up, both my parents and I considered anyone who had a drinking problem was labeled a "souse", a loser, a "bottom-of-the-barrel" person. That's all that people knew then. They were secretive and judgmental. Back in the 50's and 60's people knew others with addiction problems. But they were tight-lipped about it. 

                       We were ignorant then. Thanks to Alcoholic Anonymous, and such leaders as Bill Wilson, we as a nation and world are beginning to reach the problem. But, holy cow, that organization known as AA was established in 1935! Its as though no one really has a handle on this problem except now it is often acknowledged as an illness..Even tho, Alcoholics Anon and Al Anon has grown in some knowledge and new techniques.  And today, more and more knowledge is forthcoming, and although still an unlocked mystery, addiction information is available and helpful. But, society has a long way to go to catch up.

                        Alcoholism and drug addiction are each an illness. if they don't begin that way, they soon become an illness. It captures the mind, will, and emotions of the person who is enmeshed in this trap. It affects social and emotional growth, it stunts the maturity process, it blanks out the emotional stress that accompanies it.

                        Often the addict complains of anxiety and extreme depression. The habitual abuse of drugs and alcohol affect the brain and brings on more angst and sorrow.  It's a vicious circle.

                        The ones who suffer most are the loved ones….the parents, spouses, children, friends….because the poor individual who is using, isn't even "around" when the caregivers and loved ones are crying, desperate, wringing their hands, moaning, complaining, stressing, helpless, and hopeless. Everyone in the circle is sick! It affects every member of the extended relationships.

                        But, remember this. The addict is not hopeless. He/she is helpless. But, there is hope. And above all, there is also hope for the ones who love and hurt; who suffer the effects of a loved one's addiction.

                         I hope you can find something here to guide you, in the many many articles on this site.

                        God Bless you and hang in there. Knowledge is power.

For more writings by this author go to juditabler.com   WELCOME

What are Designer Drugs?

"In the United States, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is the agency tasked with regulating the use of controlled substances, including prescription and over-the-counter drugs with a potential for abuse under the Controlled Substances Act (CSA).¹ Additionally, illegal drugs fall under a number of regulations and laws that prevent their sale, distribution, and consumption within the country’s borders, according to the DEA’s mission and purpose.^" (copied from https://www.projectknow.com/research/new-and-designer-drugs/)

However, in spite of these laws in place, there are many ways to create and use drugs that get around the stated laws.  Unfortunately, even with these laws in place, there are ways to create and use drugs that get around the stated regulations.

I am going to skip details. You can read the article. But basically designer drugs, also known as synthetic drugs, research drugs, or research chemicals, are manufactured to resemble illicit drugs, but may be purchased legally because drug manufacturers constantly change the chemical structure to get around the law.

It's plain evil, and those people don't care what they do to whomever. Their bottom line is making money and supplying a need….a need for that drug or those drugs.

They are often marketed as herbal substances. Bath salts and Spice are two commonly known on the grey market.  Designer synthetic drugs are found to be more potent and dangerous than their street drug counterparts.  People who abuse designer drugs have all kinds of side effects; anxiety, seizures, hallucinations, loss of consciousness, organ damage.

And they are accessible in retail outlets and the internet. How about that?

Here's some you might hear about; and just being aware of the names might cause you to check it out.  They are evolving and getting much, much  worse.

Especially popular in this decade are  ecstasy, (stimulant and hallucinogen), Methamphetamine (stimulant), Tryptamine (psychoactive), Phenethylamine (psychoactive), Anabolic steroids (synthetic variation of testosterone), Heroin (opioid). Cocaine (stimulant).

Those now emerging in recent years include:  Spice (synthetic marijuana), Ecstasy, ("Molly"- synthetic psychoactive drug similar to amphetamines and mescaline),  Bath salts ( a lot of substance variability, but often contains one or more chemicals related to cathinone), Methylenedioxpyrovalerone (MDPV) (one of the chemicals found in Bath salts, same for Mephedrone, Methylone. And Krokodil, ( a less expensive heroin substitute; like heroin, it is a synthetic morphine derivative.

So so so powerful and dangerous. I know what you are thinking. You can't even pronounce them. Believe me, the users can! And the products are out there.

5 Myths about Drug Abuse and Addiction

MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to.  However......Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These significant brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will.

MYTH 2: Addiction is a disease; there’s nothing you can do about it. HOWEVER, ..Most experts agree that addiction is a brain disease, but that doesn’t mean you’re a helpless victim. The brain changes associated with addiction can be treated and reversed through therapy, medication, exercise, and other treatments.

MYTH 3: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better.However... Recovery can begin at any point in the addiction process—and the earlier, the better. The longer drug abuse continues, the stronger the addiction becomes and the harder it is to treat. Don’t wait to intervene until the addict has lost it all.

MYTH 4: You can’t force someone into treatment; they have to want help. However,  Treatment doesn’t have to be voluntary to be successful. People who are pressured into treatment by their family, employer or the legal system are just as likely to benefit as those who choose to enter treatment on their own. As they sober up and their thinking clears, many formerly resistant addicts decide they want to change.

MYTH 5: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again. However,  Recovery from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks. Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed or that you’re a lost cause. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track, either by going back to treatment or adjusting the treatment approach