Hello, Welcome
Many who experience addiction in the family or in relationships do not understand. And how would one understand? The addiction drives the addict, and the addict drives the family.
Visualize your situation like this: the addict is dancing a dance of need and craving. He or she is out of control. The person that you knew is changed. He/she has no conscious understanding of the harm he is doing to others. The brain response is total selfishness. All that matters is feeding the habit.
The family; the loved ones, the friends...unless they choose to totally walk away from the addict...they are doing a dance as well. They are marionettes and the strings are being manipulated and controlled by the addiction.
The cycle begins. The actions of the addiction and the responses of the loved ones might change from month to month or day to day, but the outcome is the same. Nothing changes the addict.
Soon the loved ones are suffering more than the addict. He/she doesn't respond to such accusations such as "You have hurt us? . Don't you want to change? How can we help you? " Anger doesn't do much either.
But what does change the situation is n this blog. There are answers here.
The addict needs help, but that won't happen until he/she reaches the point where he/she really wants help. The loved ones, the real victims, won't change until they understand what they are dealing with, and how to best proceed.
I pray that this blog helps you. This is my greatest desire.
Treatment for the addict is beneficial; the proper response of the loved ones is beneficial as well...But the real change has to be in the love one's response to this serious condition.
God Bless you and May He give you divine strength as you walk through this experience.
There is hope and there are answers. Don't give up.
Sincerely, Judi (pawneeprairieannie)
Many who experience addiction in the family or in relationships do not understand. And how would one understand? The addiction drives the addict, and the addict drives the family.
Visualize your situation like this: the addict is dancing a dance of need and craving. He or she is out of control. The person that you knew is changed. He/she has no conscious understanding of the harm he is doing to others. The brain response is total selfishness. All that matters is feeding the habit.
The family; the loved ones, the friends...unless they choose to totally walk away from the addict...they are doing a dance as well. They are marionettes and the strings are being manipulated and controlled by the addiction.
The cycle begins. The actions of the addiction and the responses of the loved ones might change from month to month or day to day, but the outcome is the same. Nothing changes the addict.
Soon the loved ones are suffering more than the addict. He/she doesn't respond to such accusations such as "You have hurt us? . Don't you want to change? How can we help you? " Anger doesn't do much either.
But what does change the situation is n this blog. There are answers here.
The addict needs help, but that won't happen until he/she reaches the point where he/she really wants help. The loved ones, the real victims, won't change until they understand what they are dealing with, and how to best proceed.
I pray that this blog helps you. This is my greatest desire.
Treatment for the addict is beneficial; the proper response of the loved ones is beneficial as well...But the real change has to be in the love one's response to this serious condition.
God Bless you and May He give you divine strength as you walk through this experience.
There is hope and there are answers. Don't give up.
Sincerely, Judi (pawneeprairieannie)
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