Where Do I Start?

I have been thinking of you all today.

Little nuggets have been erupting in my grey matter as I recall the experiences of the past 20 years. Wish I had taken notes over time. Maybe you should do that. It will help you. Journal if you can. Share your experiences and thoughts.

I would be deeply grateful if you would share those experiences with me.

Face the fact that the addicted individual is sick, and that he makes everyone in his sphere of influence and love equally sick. Everyone becomes sick.  But there are ways to avoid getting totally sucked into their illness.

            In our family we have suffered every phase of rescue options. We have made use of many treatment facilities. We have learned valuable information, good teaching, good support from friends and family…and, at times,  we have turned right around and NOT applied what we know to be good sound responses to the problem of addiction in our family.

            We have given money, time, fixed problems, bailed out, catered to, exploded, had crying fits, pulled our hair, ran our legs off, prayed…a lot, swallowed our pride, been embarrassed, at times have become isolated from normal activities with friends and family, taken meds for anxiety, ….you name it.

            The person with the drug and alcohol problem doesn't suffer nearly as much

            Why? Because HE or SHE isn't aware or experiencing the stress of those days and moments of inebriation or drug relapses.

            Heck. Life is good (they think) for the addicted one, then. That person is unconscious, daffy, irrational, selfish, or plain half dead. There are no feelings of anxiety there…

            We are the wreck.

             We suffer, feel trapped, sorrow, run to one ER room after another, hoping  (he or she) doesn't kill someone else while driving under the influence.

            Face the fact that you are in this situation for a long haul. It's a process. And the process begins with YOU. You need to get fixed…Yes, the addict sure needs fixing, but the only one who can be fixed is you. IF you are a FIXER, its time to know that you cannot fix another person. You can only fix yourself..

             In fact, God is really the only one who can fix you, but you need to be aware and open to that fact. You need the God inspired help of others and you need direction. A map. And that map is for you.

            I recommend strongly that any relative or friend touched by the addiction of a loved one go to Al Anon or Narc Anon to learn how to live through this painful experience called ADDICTION.

            That's your place to go to learn to cope; with others in the same boat.